Relationships.
They’re beautiful, they’re thrilling, they’re exciting. It’s the coming together of two people. Two people who love each other, who want to be together, who want to make millions of memories together, to laugh, and dance, and love until the very end of time.
They’re also really difficult.
And no, these aren’t just the echoes of a man with a history of doomed relationships, it’s true.
In fact, in the UK alone it’s believed that 42% of marriages end in divorce.
So what is the key to making a marriage work? Well the age in which you tie the knot could certainly be a factor.
Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb from Los Angeles recently appeared on Steven Bartlett’s The Diary of a CEO podcast where she discussed relationships, dating, and heartbreak.
While talking on the show, Gottlieb interestingly revealed the best age to get married if you don’t want a divorce (and who does?!).
Gottlieb quoted a study by the Institute of Family Studies which stated there is an optimum age to get married to statistically avoid divorce.
This study claims that the best time to marry is between 25-30 arguing that “someone who marries at 25 is over 50 percent less likely to get divorced than someone who weds at age 20”.
Gottlieb argued: “It’s obvious about marrying too young, that you don’t have the skills and you’re not established in your own life, you don’t necessarily have the maturity.
“But once you get into your mid to late 20s, it’s an optimal time because you have a better sense of who you are. You know more of what you want and you can grow together as a couple.”
She continued: “You are going to have more shared experiences and you are going to know more about each other. Your parents are probably still alive on each side, you can get to know siblings, more integrated into each other’s lives.”
What’s perhaps most interesting is that prior to the age of 32, each additional year reduces the chance of divorce by 11 percent. However after turning 32 the odds increase by five percent each year.
The reason for this, Gottlieb explains is that: “As you get older you are more set in your ways, you are more rigid, you have different expectations, when you are younger you are more flexible. We get less open minded as we get older around relationships.
“We also have a history as we get older, we have more negative experiences of maybe been broken up with. Relationships that didn’t work out then inform the way that we behave in other relationships.”
She continued: “We are punishing our current partner for a crime they didn’t commit, so if you were in a relationship before were someone didn’t treat you well, then you are less trusting of the partner you are with.
“Some people think ‘if I have more dating experience then I’m going to be a better partner later on’ but it’s harder because you have all this baggage and the other person your age has all this baggage that they are bringing.”
So what’s the key? Find someone you love, don’t blame them for your past mistakes, and make sure you’re married by 32!
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